Lets Just Dance

Some Recommendations

2011-11-11T20:33:00.001-06:00

I don't rec a lot, but I have recently begun to read several AH (all-human) Twilight fanfictions and I thought I'd share, in case that's your cup of tea.

Welcome to Las Vegas by Firewings 312 http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7365183/1/Welcome_to_Las_Vegas

An Eternity to Love by Mizzdee http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7070245/1/

Unexpected Circumstances by Savage7289 (recently completed) http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6496709/1/ This one was lucky enough to have a small portion read by Michael Sheen -- who plays Aro in the Twilight Saga movies -- here's the youtube video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mKXQNDlle5k&feature=related

You Belong to Me by TwidictedByrd (strong subject matter, but that part doesn't last long) http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6903424/1/

A Forbidden Love by TwiLoverSue http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7455169/1/

Torn by Dooba (also, strong subject matter that is the basis for this story but not the focus) http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6356034/1/

and:

Behind Steel Bars by TwilightAddict71484 http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7123387/1/

This is not ALL of the AH that I'm reading and not a complete list, by far, but just the latest to update and ones that I feel certain will be completed eventually.

As you know, one of my pet peeves is great fanfictions that start off with a bang and then are just abandoned...I wouldn't rec if I thought we'd all be left high and dry. These stories either update on a regular basis, the authors have completed other stories, or I have corresponded with them and feel certain they won't bail on us just as we get really interested.

I hope you enjoy these recs and I will send through some vampire-based recs in the next few days. Of course, there are many more of them, but as I'm sure you do, I have discriminating tastes and want to make sure I send you only the best!

Enjoy your weekend!

*hugs* Dance

Who Left Their Cell Phone on at the Breaking Dawn Wedding?

2011-11-08T12:56:00.000-06:00

Who Left Their Cell Phone on at the Breaking Dawn Wedding?

You're Welcome

2011-06-02T18:12:00.000-05:00

You're Welcome
by: Cindy Nicholson
2010 on Facebook

They say his smile is 'nice to see'.
(That smile was first put there by ME.)

'Deserved happiness' they readily give to him.
(He was empty...I filled him up again.)

They say he walks taller now, there's no hesitancy to be found.
(It took all the strength I could muster...straining...I picked him up from the ground.)

He was cheated. He was broken. He'd been thrown away like trash.
(I consoled and I mended and I polished him like brass.)

Although I didn't know it...for he swore to ME he was true...
God had different plans for the three of us:
My job was to make him a whole man again, for YOU.

Those sweet words he says to you
while 'making love' or just watching TV:
A promise here...heavy praise there...
ALL he first tried out on me.

As women we know just the words even the surest man wants to hear...
it's always something like: "Of course you're the best EVER dear."

He thanked me as his 2nd lover for assuring him I was pleased.
He'd been made aware there were 'several women' already on their knees...
A couple who were persistent (including YOU no doubt)...
and some 'single friends of friends' (you know the type) that he'd just heard about.

The last time that I saw him, for our date that night he couldn't even wait!
He said he had to come right away..our date he had to break.

"I don't want to be tied down again...I was for 30 years."
He watched my face as he said these words (I think he expected TEARS).

He wanted his freedom and he wanted it "NOW".
He was ready to play the field and he thanked me for showing him how:
-- to make a woman happy
-- to make a woman swoon
--to woo her and win her and move along to send the next one round the moon.

I've read his STATUS SHUFFLES...
hearts and flowers and 'love' abounds.
But be mindful of the subtext, which is:
"I'll see you around."

I'm sure you think I'm just bitter...or jealous...or something of that kind.
But from this day forward keep my words in the back of your mind.

It's stupid not to be aware, in the year 2010
of the 'love 'em and leave 'em'...'I just got my freedom'...
'you're just a revenge fuck' type of men.

Of course, I can't be certain that he's lying to you so then
I'll bring my cautionary tale to it's inevitable end.

Remember that *I* rebuilt him from the most defeated...broken...
mess you'll ever see.

So if HE makes you happy....YOU CAN JUST THANK ME.

(You're welcome.)

Twi-Muses: The Twilight Saga: The Official Illustrated Guide: What Does This Mean For Fanfic?

2011-04-13T08:49:00.000-05:00

Twi-Muses: The Twilight Saga: The Official Illustrated Guide: What Does This Mean For Fanfic? Check out this very cool review by Little Miss Mionie on www.twimuses.com.

Someday by duskri123: Chapter 23 Teaser

2011-03-29T12:31:00.000-05:00

Someday by duskri123: Chapter 23 Teaser: "Here is a teaser for chapter 23. When will it be out? Hard to say, I'm not even finished it yet but this part is unmovable in what I do have..."

To my Twilight fan friends: if you are not reading THIS twilight Jasper/Bella fanfic, you need to start now! One of the BEST ever!

My Heart

2010-05-14T00:34:00.003-05:00

I hear my heart beating
and I wonder "why"?
I also wonder 'how'?

The poor thing has been so broken so many times it's full of scar tissue.
Yet it throbs rhythmically as if nothing happened, as if it didn't have to survive you.

Maybe it has no memory and once the pain has passed it just continues to thrum.
Or it could just be keeping up appearances...like always cleaning your front room
in case a visitor shows up, you don't want the front room to be trashed.
In case you see a doctor or someone who would notice a silence in your chest.

But HOW, with all the pain..the real physical pain I endure on a never-ending basis...it certainly has to strain the organ like my brain helps me make the correct faces.

I sometimes wonder if these organs are NOT our friends.
If without them we'd have come to a much more dignified end.

And yet it keeps pumping and wordlessly encourages
it pisses me off sometimes that's it's so insistent
so unphased by the ravages.

So tonight, here we sit, my heart and I
I say 'I'm tired' it won't even say 'goodbye'
Instead it's more "no, you're not...I have a secret"
But it never shares it's surprise...just makes me wait for it.

My heart doesn't falter and it never takes a break
Maybe it's another source that encourages it, for heaven's sake!
You'd think it could share some of that constant enthusiasm with me.
You'd think I'd be smart enough to know that what it does...it does for me.

My heart won't win any awards..in it's future there's no special acclaim
It's one job, it's purpose, is me. It has no room or time for blame.
It just thrums happily along setting the example I should follow.
Hell, it's midnight, maybe I'll feel better tomorrow.

OK, I'm OBSESSED

2010-04-19T14:49:00.007-05:00

I'm sorry I haven't written in a while, but I've been busy. I've been playing on Facebook, sure, Twitter....not as much as I used to...Big Brother...not on for a couple months yet.

No, the object of my obsession is..*drumroll*: TWILIGHT, specifically: EDWARD CULLEN.

Ok, I know what you're thinking..."where's she been, under a rock somewhere?"

No...not quite that out of the loop...but, I just don't do vampires. I have a strict policy (actually, my discerning spirit has it's way with me)...I don't DO vampires/evil/torture/horror movies. I've been known to literally run from the room or theater when these movies are on.

I once tried (actually 3 times) to read "Interview with a Vampire" ..Anne Rice's vampire book that was made into a movie. I couldn't even hold it in my hands it so unsettled my SPIRIT...Finally, after the 3rd try reading it, I threw the new, unread paperback in my kitchen trash can..that wasn't far enough away..I had to DIG IT OUT and take it OUTSIDE to the big trashcans near the street!!!! It SO COMPLETELY unnerved me.

So, what, 15 years or so later??..enter: Twilight by Stephenie Meyer

*sigh* Mercy...just another movie I won't watch. Well, I don't know what happened..I'm not sure what lured my 'discernment' away for a few minutes (probably the fact that I have been in soooo much pain and stuck in my house with only the internet and the regular tv shows that I watch)..but, Twilight came on Showtime and BAM! I was THERE!!

I waded in...I'll give it 5 minutes...no...I don't feel any evil twinges coming from it...ok 10 minutes..still nothing...before I knew it, I was falling head over heels for a VAMPIRE!!!

A half-century of resolve to NEVER watch any evil content just evaporated as these two kids(I use the term loosely in Edward's case), Edward & Bella were finding themselves in a love affair that simply would NOT be denied. To say they are 'starcrossed lovers' really doesn't define their particular situation: She's a human girl, an extraordinary one, but human..and he's a Vampire. Think of that age-old adage: A fish and a bird can fall in love but, where would they LIVE?

Over the last couple of years, as my health has gotten worse, I lost most of my earthly possessions waiting on disability (house, car, etc.), I lost my boyfriend (his last words to me "I'll call you tomorrow"..it'll be 2 years in October..lol...human men *rolls eyes*), and just general disappointment in all things 'true love' had described, and promised, killed any feelings that I might have of a romantic nature...or so I thought!!!

Imagine my surprise when from within me PASSION re-emerged...my heart would quicken along with Bella's..tears fell...chills covered my body...and, when at the end of the 2nd movie of the series "New Moon" Edward says to Bella "..and then forever...marry me" I swear, you'd have thought Edward was on his knees in front of me!!! I squealed...I felt the electric shock to my TOES, I kid you not.

I have certainly done hours of introspection on this completely new, to me, passion, obsession, hunger to know MORE and MORE about these characters and WHY did I have such a strong reaction to them. Now, NOBODY would have ever accused me of having no passion...no emotions...no heart...honey, it's the stuff I'm made of instead of blood, skin, and bones!!! But, for a VAMPIRE!!

OK, so let's be practical..vampires are fictional characters..Stephenie Meyer's vampires are extremely GOOD people (forgive the term)...they have chosen to accept their lot in 'life' and attempt to do GOOD..not just GOOD, the GREATER GOOD. Now, THAT's MY THING!!

I believe the other main draw for me..and what SURPRISINGLY had both my sons gagging at their mother's choice of OBSESSION..is the fact that EDWARD IS THE PERFECT MAN.

I expected my sons to be thrilled that their mother actually broke down her wall and enjoyed a 'supernatural' (if you will) movie. But no, they were actually VERY condescending about my choice. My oldest son (25) simply can't get past the part where Edward sparkles in the sun..fine..whatever..I'm not sure exactly why my youngest (15) doesn't care for him..but I have a theory. You might want to get a drink here, this might take a minute or two...lol.

As I stated above, Edward IS the perfect man (if you can get past the un-dead part). He's spent enough time learning, looking, becoming an ADULT for heaven's sake! He KNOWS what he doesn't want, if still being in the shadows on what he DOES want. But when he sees, meets, gets to know Bella..EDWARD KNOWS WHAT HE WANTS. That's extremely important!

Next, EDWARD KNOWS THE VALUE OF LOVE (he's lived for decades with 3 perfectly-matched pair of lovers..the outsider..the only one without a mate. He's seen the joy of love, the value of a partner, companion, commitment, a plus-one.

EDWARD KNOWS HOW LUCKY HE IS to have FOUND someone who by all rights has been made just for him by some creator: she's his FAVORITE smell ("my own personal brand of heroin" to use HIS words), she's FEARLESS (he IS a monster after all), she's trustworthy, loyal, and devoted (all things a woman would HAVE to be to be in a relationship with someone from his world). Miraculously, he's found the ONE PERSON who was made JUST FOR HIM.

EDWARD IS WILLING TO FIGHT FOR AND PROTECT BELLA, from rapist/murderers, from other boys at the school who would love to have her for themselves, from HIS OWN FAMILY, and even from HIMSELF at times.

As a couple Edward and Bella are extremely powerful: He's their MIGHT...She's their SOUL...together, they are their HEART.

My mother says I'm drawn to the Protector in Edward and I have to agree that could be it, for a large part..but, I KNOW I'm drawn to Edward because he's a HERO, he's devoted, he's true...EDWARD IS THE MAN THAT ALL WOMEN WANT THEIR MEN TO BE...and WOMEN (including the girls my youngest goes to school with) have GONE WILD!

Let's face it...in books, magazines, tv, music, and especially movies...over the last 3 decades or so...women have been told what we are supposed to LOOK like (we've had so many boobs thrown in our faces, on the screen, that we can't even work up the embarrassment to blush anymore...our righteous indignation has laid down it's sword and just accepted it ... and, the plastic surgeons, diet-food companies/gyms, and, cosmetic companies are making a killing. We've tried so hard not to get old that some of my favorite actresses look like they are standing in wind tunnels (their faces pulled and cut and sewn back so far), their lips look like trouts they have been shot so full of fillers, hair extensions, thin to the point of looking like the suffer from malnutrition..their breasts look like cantaloupes sewn under their skin..it's RIDICULOUS! But it's done now..that's just the way it is.

Enter Edward Cullen...finally...after 30 years of hearing WHAT WOMEN ARE SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE TO BE DESIRABLE...Edward is telling MEN HOW TO ACT.

...and THEY HATE IT!! lmbo...women, go ahead and have one of those HUGE belly-laughs that shakes your whole body and produces those endorphins!!

Yes, men...EDWARD CULLEN is YOUR wake-up call! It's time for chivalry...remember how to open a door and pick up a check?? It's time for COMMITMENT...no more of this "what I don't do for my man some other woman will" attitude...make some money (we're tired of supporting you)...and, you better find that girl and be true to her. Men, KNOW YOUR MIND...if you say it you better mean it...if you ask for it, be grateful for receiving it...and, if you want her, deserve her!!

Ultimately, I LOVE EDWARD CULLEN for being THAT GUY...no, he's not perfect..no woman ever expects her man to be perfect (it's your imperfections that endear you to us)...but be OUR OWN brand of heroin...be addicted to us...be obsessed with us...love us...tell us you love us and mean it...see ONLY us (no, you're not blind but that is certainly NO EXCUSE for ogling and then comparing us to some other woman. AND, last but certainly not least...FIGHT TO KEEP US...keep us safe, keep us happy, keep us in your heart and mind...you will NOT regret it.

Men, TWILIGHT and EDWARD CULLEN are YOUR goal...it's your map to a woman's head and heart...it's your mission statement...it's your example of what your woman wants. But, as usual, (and believe me, women are used to being disappointed..our expectations have fallen so low they barely have a heartbeat) it's YOUR choice.

Be THAT GUY, please? We'll be THAT GIRL..it's in our nature, we're hard-wired to please you when we aren't having to spend all our time, energy, attention, and money surviving you.

Thank you Stephenie Meyer, Bella, but most of all: THANK YOU EDWARD CULLEN for waking up the girl in me and reminding me that love still exists.

An excellent way to say "Thank you and Merry Christmas" to our SOLDIERS overseas!

2009-12-11T14:16:00.005-06:00

Please use the widget to the right to send a free Christmas card to our Soldiers overseas. No matter how you feel about the war, please support our TROOPS..thanks! If the widget is 'unclickable' the link is: http://www.letssaythanks.com

I Recognized His Smile Right Away

2009-09-23T16:26:00.009-05:00

1977 was a rough year for me. Many things in my life were turned completely upside down. The world I had inhabited for the previous 18 years turned out to be a sham; and, to be honest, I didn't handle it very well.

Earlier, in the summer of 1976, I was working for Opryland USA. I have shared, previously, that I was among a very lucky group of 16-18 year olds who were hired by the most unique theme park in the USA.

When school started, my senior year was divided into 25% school, 25% band (rifle team) and 50% work. My home life which had always been tumultuous suddenly became a minefield. My parents' (my mother and my adopted father) relationship, which had always balanced on a razor's edge, began to fall completely apart. The happenings are not really mine to share, but as someone who survived it I feel I do have a right to share how it affected me.

I had always known that my 'daddy' was not my REAL father. He and my mother married when I was only 6 months old. Daddy adopted me when I was in the 2nd grade and I took his last name. If ever it even occurred to me to ask about my REAL father, I was told that it was my mother's first husband. Case closed...

During the fall of 1976 it seemed that nearly every night brought a new argument. Anything could set him off. These arguments started with loud screaming, verbal abuse, escalating into violence. Dad would scream and mom or I would try to defend ourselves. He'd push mom, she'd bounce of the refrigerator. He'd come at me and I'd try to cover myself. Mom would try to protect me from Daddy's rages that I could never fully understand. If I tried to protect Mom he'd get even more enraged. They'd throw things and scream so loud that a neighbor-friend of the family actually tried to intervene to quieten them. When I was 11, I was diagnosed with an ulcer. Supper-time at my house was a tense situation..I could barely eat for fear of dropping my fork or spilling my milk. I learned to stay in my room with the door closed in an attempt to keep Daddy from going off. Of course, a couple of hours after these explosions Daddy would call me to him (taking me on his lap when I was younger). He'd be crying..."Daddy's sorry, you love Daddy don't you? Daddy loves you."

It seemed I couldn't do anything right. I began to have anxiety attacks in health class when we'd study First Aid. The pseudo-catastrophe-filled films they would show in class..people laying around bleeding and injured were more than my sensitive, over-stressed psyche could take. I would start to hyperventilate...my arms and hands to tingle, my lips to feel like they were being drawn together and the feeling to flee the room was overwhelming. The Dr. prescribed valium but I was terrified of taking pills. Yes, it was the late 70's and I was a teenager, but I did not do any drugs. I had always preferred being the one in control, the designated driver, the clear thinker in my group of friends.

I missed a lot of classes that came after 1st period (eg. biology, geometry, shorthand) because I would end up being sent home by the school nurse. My body and mind were freaking out because of the war at home. I wasn't built for that shit.

One day, after a particularly harsh confrontation with Daddy I screamed "I'm going to go find my REAL Daddy, because I KNOW he loves me!" Keep in mind that I didn't even have a picture of the man, but no matter what, I figured HE had to be better than this.

My mother, having the foresight that our life there was coming to an end and we'd be going out on our own, dropped the bombshell that blew my teens into oblivion and pushed me into an emotional purgatory..neither child or adult..was I even who I thought I was? Apparently my mother had met a man, a radio DJ, in the late 50's when all those sentimental love songs filled the airwaves..."is that your little girl? She looks a lot like me". My mom and the DJ had fallen in love and Mom got pregnant. Mom showed a picture to me. I had seen it before but never suspected the significance of it. It was me as an infant, laying on a white cotton bead spread, 45's laid around me in a circle. Those records were THEIR songs. The DJ, had a son and twin daughters from his 1st marriage as well. I was not only the child of a man I never knew existed but I also have siblings! As an only child I was often lonely and had dreamed of an older brother.
Selfishly, I supposed, I wished for someone to turn to when things got scary, a witness to the insanity of my life, and someone to watch over me.

Unfortunately, Mom and the DJ fell apart soon after my birth. Mom, finding herself in a desperate situation, divorced, new baby, married the man I call Daddy. This other man, the DJ, had a son and twin daughters from his 1st marriage as well. To find out that I was not only the child of a man I had never known existed until this confusing night in the fall of 1976 but I also have siblings!

Meanwhile, being a member of the high school rifle corp, I marched my heart out! I loved twirling my rifle, throwing it into the air, performing with determination. The honor of traveling with our winning football team, marching at half-time, holding hands with my boyfriend (a trumpet player) as we sat on the bleachers cheering our team to victory, was a Godsend! I threw myself into practice, twirling and tossing that rifle for hours. I believe it helped me to focus on something completely outside of the turmoil that had become my family life.

Later in that school year, I met my biological father for the only time. We chatted across a restaurant table...my mother sitting beside me for support. He promised to take me to visit his family, to introduce me to my half-brother and sisters, to make me a part of his life..he promised many things.

As the football season came to an end so did the romance with my trumpet player but he always held a special place in my heart. He had helped me through a tumultuous time in my life and he NEVER KNEW anything was going on. I presented a happy, fun-loving, "let's go roll (t.p.) someones house after the football game" facade. I was very adept at putting on a mask, even at that tender age.

On March 11, 1977 I turned 18 and began my last summer at Opryland USA. On August 16, 1977 I worked my first day of my first full-time job..that was the day The King, Elvis Presley died.

My parents divorced about that time. The end of their marriage was marked by a huge bruise on my thigh from being stomped as I slid to the floor, deflecting the last of the physical blows 'Daddy' would ever land on me. I was limping and bruised as my mother and I signed the lease on an apartment.

On the morning of my birthday, March 11, 1978 as my mother and I were driving to work we tuned into the DJ's radio station. "Hi you beautiful ladies out there on your way to work..Happy Birthday Baby, Daddy loves you...here's a song just for you." As he played the song I had told him was my favorite at that time, Rod Stewart's "Tonight's the Night"...I dreamed of what my future might hold. Hopes and dreams that would never be realized. Left to melt with the snow banks on the sides of the road. I never heard from him again.

Both 'daddies' have passed on. I sometimes wonder if they are sitting in lounge chairs together in my idea of Heaven. Are they watching me? Did I finally make them proud and happy?

You might be wondering what brought up these memories. Well, I found my trumpet player on Facebook and had a wonderful lunch with him today...31 years since the last time we had seen each other. I recognized his SMILE right away. The conversation was fun as we recounted memories...the fun we had had together as teenagers. As we brought up the names of our school friends we compared notes on who we had kept up with. When we talked about those who have passed we became quiet, reflecting on the last memory we had of each of them. We each talked about our lives in the last three decades..excitedly trying to tell EVERYTHING..but hitting the highlights and some low ones...things we had happily experienced and a few things we were lucky to live through ourselves.

Even though the things I have written about today are not necessarily happy ones..words like "tragic" and "disappointing" mostly fit the bill. The fact that I did live through it and that there is the possibility that I may find my siblings before this dance of life comes to an end are enough to get me out of bed in the morning.

The ageless feeling of connecting with an old friend and the possibility of seeing him again and even MORE of our friends has left me with a smile that I just can't wipe off my face. How cool is that?

Taylor Swift wins Best Female Video at VMA's...but,

2009-09-14T12:31:00.006-05:00

Kanye West jumped on the stage, took the mic away from Taylor and said: "Beyonce had one of the best videos of ALL TIME".

Taylor had only begun her speech, saying: "I used to dream that I'd have a chance to win a VMA, but I sing Country music...". That was all she got out before Kanye appears beside her and takes the mic right out of her hand. This move by Kanye was horrifying...who the hell does he think he is? The camera cuts to a horrified Beyonce just in time to see her mouth the words "no, Kanye" and Taylor Swift (remember, she's only 17) stood there in silence, showing a grace and maturity far beyond her age.

Not five minutes later, Taylor performed her song, 'You Belong With Me', live, in a subway station, on the subway train, ending on a stage in front of the Radio City Music Hall. She was fabulous!

Beyonce performed her song, 'Single Ladies', later in the show, and she was also amazing! When Beyonce won the big award of the night, Best Video, I loved what she said, and did: "I remember being at the VMA's the first time with Destiny's Child, I was 17 myself and I was thrilled!" Then she invited Taylor out to give her original 'thank you' speech, which Taylor did, gracefully thanking many people, and the fans, of course. She was obviously moved both by receiving the award and Beyonce's generous and self-less gesture.

Very classy move by Beyonce! Way-to-go to BOTH ladies and 'boo hiss' to Kayne...nobody cares what you think anyway.

Team Jordan Twibbon

2009-09-11T23:08:00.003-05:00

I have added the link to get your Team Jordan Twibbon, the little pic of Jordan with the words 'Team Jordan' for your Twitter avatar, >> over there just under the little bird inviting you to 'Follow Me on Twitter'. If you don't watch Big Brother 11, then you won't know Jordan, but she's the sweetest thing and she has made it to the Final 3! The winner of BB11 will be crowned Tuesday night along with the winner of America's Choice for players who are in the Jury (they are in sequester, and they vote for the winner, sort of like Survivor). I hope that Jordan wins the $500K 1st place prize and that Jeff, her gorgeous romantic interest (notice I didn't say 'showmance'..I hate that word), wins the America's Choice prize of $25K.

I have met so many smart, funny, kind, and informative people on Twitter that I would suggest joining Twitter to anyone who has a computer. Right now, of course, I am really involved in the Big Brother 11 group (big shocker, right? LOL)..but there is also a Fibromyalgia group, a group for The Closer TV show, writers, all the major and local news sources, movie, television & music celebrities and so much more! Any subject that you can think of, any interest that you may have, there are people with the same interests on Twitter. Please let me know if you follow me and I'll follow you back.

Lots of love, Cindy

Complaint Letter to CBS Concerning Cheating on Big Brother

2009-09-09T17:01:00.002-05:00

I am writing with two purposes:

1) To complain that Big Brother 11 is fixed in favor of Natalie and Kevin.
2) To let you know that I am walking away from the live feeds, Big Brother fan sites, chats, and anything that supports Big Brother even if it survives this controversy. But first, I want to see how this mess is handled, what restitution you will make to those who have been cheated out of winning $500K. Finally, how you secure public apologies and any remedies necessary to those whose reputations were damaged by two of the most malicious liars and perpetrators of character assassination, outside the realms of anything considered "game play", ever on Reality TV.

Because you handled the 'Chima situation' it's not necessary for me to discuss her considerable part in killing the reputation of Big Brother, as a whole.

I MUST cover the blatant and, thus far, unapologetic betrayal of all Big Brother fans by fixing the game in favor of Natalie and Kevin.

SOME instances of bias will offend SOME people.

MOST occurrences of cheating will enrage MOST people.

All cases of theft, if proven, should be handled by law enforcement.

Generally, honest, moral and ethical people will appreciate players with those same qualities...and vice-versa.

Finally, the small group of 'fans' who, when faced with a complaint about a player (i.e. "Kevin and Natalie made a calendar, which in the past has been a BB violation"), will reply with an argumentative counter-complaint (i.e. "well, Michelle has a calendar in her birth control pills"). I call these people 'instigators' -- they just want to fight, would argue with a fencepost, but don't really add any substance to the discussion.

Below is a list of issues I believe to be the reason that this season of Big Brother has generated such an enormous number of complaints. So many complaints that possibly you, and the rest of the production crew, should consider moving on to let a less-jaded crew take over. Also included are instances of outright cheating, bullying and theft that MUST BE ADDRESSED.

1. First competition was structured so that Jessie would be the ex-houseguest returning. What were you thinking? Jessie was voted OUT of the house by AMERICA last season. He is very unpopular.

Then you put him in the physically-strongest clique which gives his clique one more member than any other clique. Plus you hand him the first HOH. Another advantage of the clique theme was that members of the same clique couldn't nominate or vote against their own members. I smelled the FIX that first night. So did most people.

2. To give Jessie a platform to be Jessie for a week was a REAL mistake. Although we didn't like her, we didn't know THEN about that fork-tongued viper that lay on top of him, under him, never left his side, and yap yap yapped at anyone who dared to say anything against Jessie. We didn't know that 'lap dog' would turn out to be the horror of a human being that is Natalie, but we knew she wasn't GOOD.

3. Those first few weeks, Jessie HOH, Braden vs. Chima and the 'beaner' incident, Chima's speech at the eviction (my God, she called Julie a WHORE)..And because of Ronnie the Rat, Chima stayed. But the unfortunate byproduct of that eviction was Ronnie dividing the house and setting up the 'good' side to unwittingly vote against the side of the house in power, thus setting up a string of evictions of GOOD people.

4. Ronnie gets HOH, puts up Jeff, sets up Laura, Jeff bonds with Jordan (where you SHOULD have put your money. If you were going to fix the show, why not fix to make 95% of the viewers happy?) Jeff saves himself, Ronnie spitefully puts up Jordan. Pitiful, set-up Laura goes home. Ronnie wins the battle but loses the war. All agree whoever gets next HOH puts up Ronnie, no question.

5. Horror of horrors, Jessie gets HOH again (most threw it to him I suspect, after all, he'd agreed with them all to get Ronnie the Rat out). Instead, when asked if he's keeping the deal, Jessie ends his own game, as far as America is concerned, because he goes back on the deal by saying "oh..well..I'm gonna do what's BEST FOR ME". Casey (another fan-favorite and my pick from the first) logically discusses with the Jessie's lapdog the assumption that Jessie will put up Ronnie, as he had promised the house. That's all it took, Casey's backdoored.

Later in the season, the week that Lydiot left, I believe, when Gnat is starting to lay claim to all moves she considers good. but mostly, just laying claim to Jessie (all the while protesting that she HAS a boyfriend and only thinks of Jessie as a friend...the subtext, of course, he's mine, he's always been mine, he never was yours, you never had any special moments with him Lydiot, he told me everything, he healed my shoulder, he backdoored Casey for me). THIS was my first hint that Gnat was not only a habitual liar and an instigator, but she just might be crazy. God is omnipotent and omnipresent. Not Gnat.

[[I'm going to go ahead and believe that the Coup d’état was already planned for this season and although the INSTIGATORS will say that CBS/Alison Grodner awarded it to Jeff...I know better. I have been visiting most of the BBfan sites, chat rooms, Twitter, and at least 80% of the people saying that they were voting, were voting for Jeff. Whew! The game is FINALLY FAIR!! (Or so we thought)]]

Two strange things happened here, though: Kevin voted for Jessie to LEAVE yet stayed with the girls during 'Jessie's wake' and from then on, rather than be with the people who wanted Jessie gone. He was, no doubt, encouraged by the D.R. to stay with the explosively emotional women who would draw fire away from him.

Russell voted to keep Jessie not 5 minutes after Jeff had just saved him from sure eviction. When Russell said "I vote to evict Natalie." I screamed at the TV "oh no Russell! That's YOUR game!"

6. Here's where CHIMAGATE happens. Michele gets HOH, does exactly what she should have done, nominates Gnat (who threatened her with revenge IN THE HOUSE if Russell wasn't put on the block beside her OR IN THE JURY HOUSE because she would NOT VOTE for Michelle and was certain that Jessie would do what Gnat said and also NOT VOTE for Michelle.

Chima gets nominated, too...freaks out...we've covered that.

Michelle's HOH ends; Jordan wins next HOH and HERE IS WHERE YOU REALLY WENT WRONG:

A. Right after that Golf HOH, feeds come back on and we see an undeniably drunk Lydiot on a tear in the house. Her drunken rampage is being fueled completely by Natalie. Gnat reminds Lydiot of all the bad names they have called Michelle (bi-polar, takes pills in the Diary Room, needs a straight-jacket) to which Lydiot adds 'claims she's bi-sexual and a scientist whose husband only SAYS he loves her. Well, she was drunk. Lydiot runs and slams the green room door open, where ironically Jordan & Michele were saying they were HAPPY FOR GNAT because she got the phone call home in the competition.

B. Each time that drunken Lydiot would run back to the red room beds to tell Gnat what she'd done, Gnat would load her up with some more insults and racial epithets. This time reminding Lydiot that Russell is a terrorist amongst other things. Lydiot had already called Jordan a 'ho' a 'puppet' and a 'ho puppet' on national TV. She also called her 'fat'.

C. When Jeff confronts Gnat and Kevin about how Lydiot is acting and that instead of encouraging her, maybe pull her back from the ledge, we get a real glimpse of just how vile Gnat & Kev REALLY are. Gnat says she has no control over Lydiot, that she's NOT encouraging her, but she can't make her stop either. Gnat says that Michele is the one she's mad at, because she nominated Chima. Also, Gnat uses that opportunity to push the 'green room lie'. That's the lie that Gnat made up having to do with a conversation at 4:00 am in the green room where supposedly Michele tried to convince Jessie and Gnat to KEEP RONNIE. Complete fabrication. But that would be against the wishes of the GOOD side of the house, therefore making Michele suspect in her new alliance's eyes. This is where Kevin also says he is powerless over Lydiot, that he's been a therapist for these women the entire season, and Jeff shouldn't be mad at HIM.

This is where the production tampering got too heavy-handed. Gnat/Kev/Lyd are frantic to figure out something. They are suddenly without power and without the numbers. They were desperately whispering trying to come up with a LIE (of course) that would break up the foursome of Jeff/Jordan/Michele/Russell. THEN LYDIOT COMES SKIPPING OUT OF THE DIARY ROOM AND SAYS: "THEY ARE GOING TO HELP US BECAUSE THEY THINK WE ARE FUN!" That's enough said right there. Over a couple days they fashioned this lie that Russell was overheard saying he wanted Jeff out 'next week'. It was completely obvious that the Diary Room was supporting that lie with scenarios to Jeff, Jordan, Michele AND Russell. They were all suddenly paranoid, irritated with each other, distrusting of each other. Kevin tells Jeff the lie. It took quite a bit of convincing, prodding, Diary Room manipulating before Jeff finally believed Kevin. At the same time, Jordan couldn't talk about anything BUT Russell and how she didn't trust him--obviously the D.R. was working on her, too. When you showed the confrontation between Jeff/Jordan and Russell/Michelle all of those conversations took place during Jordan's HOH but you didn't show them until Jeff's HOH week. Jordan also complained that the Diary Room had tried to make her say and do something she didn't want to do, just prior to her nominations. They wanted her to nominate Russell.

We know how all that played out, but the way it has been twisted is unconscionable.

1. Russell voted to keep Jessie, directly betraying Jeff.
2. Russell had told Jeff that he'd stab Jeff in the back for $500,000 one night when he got drunk.
3. Alison, you yourself said, on one of these short, written interviews that if Russell could AT THAT MOMENT put Jeff up, would he...you said YES. This was also during Jordan's week. However, since then you have said you just have NO IDEA why Jeff trusted Kevin/Gnat. How do you sleep at night?
4. Michele was up to her elbows in Russell's eviction, because she would run and tell Jeff everything that Russell said, throwing Russell under the bus with both hands and a shovel. She even said she remembered the conversation where Russell said "NEXT WEEK", which never happened.
5. It angers me that Julie Chen even asked Jeff THREE TIMES if backdooring Russell, trusting Gnat/Kev was the reason Jeff got evicted...finally he said, well, I guess it MUST have been. Every interview since has asked the SAME QUESTION or worse, blaming it on him 'carrying JORDAN'..Ridiculous..and totally untrue.

Now..to more cheating:

1. The HOH that Gnat won..As you know, Jordan was WAY ahead..Then Gnat tied both girls, there was a tie-breaker. But, when the HG's came back in from that comp and the feeds came back on, both Michele & Jordan were talking about a plane going over during the comp and they didn't hear one of the questions. As someone who has the feeds, and watches the HG's in the backyard and in the pool, day after day, when a plane goes over you can't hear anything in the backyard...even from the couches to the Hot Tub they'll have to wait until the plane goes over. I bet if it was Gnat that had missed a question, at least one question would have been done over.

2. Gnat and Kevin made a calendar, first out of the chess board, and candy to mark the dates of comps/evictions, etc.; BB told them they'd have to put it back, but they'd had a couple days to study it already. Then they made the one out of paper, with playdoh balls in different colors marking the dates...most any bb-fan site has a screen cap close-up of the calendar. In past seasons, any kind of calendar or study notes have been taken away from the HG's. After the POV that Kevin won, he couldn't wait to tell Gnat that studying that calendar (and the extra time because of technical difficulties) helped him win the POV.

*Instigators will say real quickly "Michele has a calendar in her birth control pills. But anybody with sense knows that birth control pills, although they are to be taken daily and are packaged that way, are not laid out like a calendar. Gnat and Kevin used Michele's birth control pills as JUSTIFICATION for their calendar. But, they are known liars and cheaters, would you expect anything different?

3. During the 1st part of the HOH last night, Kevin stayed turned to his right the ENTIRE 4 hours, watching the gears or mechanisms, although they had been told to face the pool at all times.

4. Gnat took her hand OFF the key and held onto the rope. Both of them should have been disqualified, leaving Jordan as the winner. Pictures of both Kevin turned to the side and Gnat's hand holding the rope, not the Key, are available on most bb-fan sites by now.

One final bit of tampering to not only AID Gnat, but to try to change public opinion of her because 95% of viewers are incensed that she is being allowed to lie and cheat and steal like she is. Everyone is crying foul this morning. However. the 2nd Pandora's Box..the commercials that were played said that on "Sunday night Pandora's Box would come into play again, and the Jury would pack the punch"! Uh...no jury house packing anything in sight. Instead, Gnat was given a deal she was SURE to take..It was NO risk to her..she gave up playing in the VETO comp, she was HOH and safe. Breaking all previous BB rules stating that the HG's would not spend any time with their family and friends while in the BB house, suddenly there's Gnat's on-again-off-again boyfriend. In a pseudo-Bachelorette type scenario, he proposes, with a trash bag tie for the ring. Gnat's reaction was that of a cold fish. Sure, she accepted. Then she told a huge lie to the other HG's. She was called immediately to the Diary Room where she was told, and I quote her "we won't support THAT lie”. Obviously they have supported many of her other lies. Unfortunately, even your heavy-handed tampering backfired on you....the public wasn't warmed by the engagement rather they were incensed that the Pandora's Box had obviously been altered for HER and then she lied about it. Gnat also told Kevin that she asked her boyf-- FIANCE if she did the right thing evicting Jeff. He said YES. Then BB told them they couldn't discuss the game. Her fiancé told her that she has a lot of haters out here, on blogs. She decided it's because America hated Jessie, therefore she is hated, too. They are NOT supposed to get outside info.

Lastly, stealing: In past seasons, HG's have taken other HG's belongings, always with the understanding they couldn't DESTROY anything and they had to GIVE EVERYTHING BACK before that HG is EVICTED. Gnat stole Michele's competition gloves out of her drawer in the Splish Splash room. Using Gnat-logic she said "Well, I lost my gloves, so I stole Michele's...an eye for an eye, y'know?" Michele frantically looked for them for 2 hours yesterday before the live show...it was possible she was staying and would need her competition gloves. She asked the D.R. Well, you know if WE knew where her gloves were (in the HOH) then the Diary Room knew where they were, but they didn't tell her and didn't tell Gnat she had to give them back.

The fact Big Brother is a "tv show" -- "remember, it's a TV SHOW, it's all about the ratings" (when you want to explain away production manipulation, by saying said manipulation was done to cause a 'shake-up' or 'drama' or 'conflict between players') or that Big Brother is a "game"-- "it's JUST A GAME" (when you want to explain away a horrendous character defect or disgusting actions by a player) does not excuse these things. Neither made-up/stirred-up conflict nor horrible people and their disgusting actions cause me to tune in/guarantee that I'll keep tuning in to Big Brother.

Instead, I guarantee you that I will NEVER watch another season of Big Brother...I am disgusted at what I have seen on this season of Big Brother and embarrassed that I have been such a big fan until now. After I have watched the last several episodes of Big Brother 11 I have felt the need to take a shower because the show has turned sleazy and immoral, degrading and unethical, dishonest and unapologetic.

I called you, along with many other people from CBS's own Big Brother fan forum, other BB-fan sites and Twitter. We really needed you to let us know what you planned to do about the POV competition where Kevin was, in his own words, helped by the forbidden calendar and the extra time for the technical difficulties. There wasn't so much as a return call or a mention on the episode. How can you just ignore the complaints of such a large percentage of your viewers? Your Nielsen ratings have fallen, as predicted. People are tuning out. People are calling sponsors.

Now I hear that the ONLY semi-saving grace for the season, the two-hour finale has been restructured. We had so hoped for plenty of time to call Gnat out on all of her lies. You couldn't have that so the actual Jury Questions of the Final Two won't happen until finale night. Which means the Jury won't have much time, if any, to confer. The last HG will not even be able to confer with the rest of the jurors because they will not be voted out until the finale which looks like an attempt to control the Jury Votes, too. Have you no shame?

Alison, I believe that you should go on over to Sony, develop something new. With BBUK having announced it's final season next year, it's looking like BBUS is not far behind. 11 seasons is a good run, I'll give you that. I believe that you have fallen into a zone where you think you can get away with ANYTHING and that the viewers will just accept it. "Expect the unexpected", right? If NOTHING else that you hear is true...believe me, this time, your viewers, your core, always returning, solid fan base is NOT ACCEPTING what has happened THIS SEASON. Even if you go ahead and hand the money to either Kevin or Gnat, it will NOT be the end of the questions that we viewers have.

I doubt you expected Jeff to be such a HUGE hit. And that Jeff & Jordan's romance would cause such strong feelings. And NOBODY could ever predict the absolute horror of a human being that is Natalie. You ended up with the Most Loved BB HG ever in the same season with the Most Hated Reality Person EVER. She's even hated in Canada, as reported by Canada TV Guide. Why in the world you decided to favor her, aid her, support her b.s. in the diary room, have production yield to her will? You better come up with a good answer, because somebody higher up and with more clout than just a fan out there on the internet is bound to ask you the same thing. Alison, you have to be held accountable for this clusterfuck that is BB11.

Your fans would like an explanation, too.

Inside Dish with Ross Mathews at The Insider

2009-09-01T12:19:00.003-05:00

Inside Dish with Ross Mathews at The Insider

Shared via AddThis

I had the pleasure to call into Ross Mathew's show and talk with him. His guest was Memphis Garrett (BB10). It was an honor and a whole lot of fun. Enjoy!

2009-08-19T17:11:00.004-05:00

So many changes have happened since my last Big Brother 11 post I thought I'd catch you up on some things.

CBS paid heed to, not only my complaint, but the 1000's of other complaints they received concerning houseguest Chima Simone, and she was expelled from the game late Friday night/early Saturday morning. In the couple hours leading up to her expulsion the HG's had given a putt-putt type golf setup to practice on for the upcoming POV competition. Because Chima was on the nomination block, along with HG Lydia, her alliance-mates were seen urging her to come out and practice. Chima did agree to come practice but refused to put on her microphone. All the HG's are miked 24/7 with a small black mic-pack about the size of a pack of cigarettes with thin cord and a clip on mic. Big Brother was heard asking Chima to put on her microphone several times until finally her alliance-mate Kevin got her microphone and gave it to Gnatalie. As Gnat handed the micpack up to Chima on the golf aparatus, Chima says 'thank you' turns and lobs the mic pack into the nearby HOT TUB! The micpacks are quite expensive, something like $4,000 each. Chima kept refusing to be miked and the refused to go to the Diary Room when summoned. One of the last things Chima says is "I refuse to give 'them' the satisfaction of voting me out of this house".

Soon the producer, Allison Grodner, is heard calling Chima to the diary room over the intercom. After several urgings Chima goes into the diary room, prepares to sit on the couch (which is the same place we see the houseguests vote to evict on the live shows). Someone says 'no need to sit down' and Chima was ushered out the back of the diary room...GOODBYE CHIMA! and good riddance!!!

I don't need to say much more about Chima now that she's gone. She was just as bad as she was portrayed on Tuesday's episode times 100! Chima was a racist terror who felt entitled to whatever she wanted when she wanted it. She threatened production and her housemates. She was a brutal rape survivor who joked that she'd even use that horror to tell production that she was afraid of another houseguest. Chima has no shame. She did NOT want to be voted out of the house and she was NOT going to bear it, eventhough it is always a very real part of the game. Instead of rolling with some of the games' punches, taking being nominated like the 'strong woman' she is supposed to be, fighting for the POV which could have saved her from nomination, Chima chose to have a hissyfit and quit.

Since Chima had left the game BB deemed Michelle's HOH week complete. Within minutes of this announcement the HG's were thrown into a new HOH competition. Because a POV competition was not necessary, BB used the afore-mentioned golf game for this quickie HOH competition. Gloriously and luckily for the Fab Four, Jordan won! She got the HOH room for the remainder of the week (invited Michelle to stay, bring her pictures back, and share the room since her week was cut short..what a sweetheart).

It looks like Jordon's HOH might not turn out like we hoped, i.e. Gnatalie evicted, but we have done all that we can do.

We gave Jeff the Coup d'etat to get even...not even as in revenge, but even as in the numbers. That has been done. Two major players are out of the house as a result.

Unfortunately for Jeff and Jordan, they do not understand the game of Big Brother and they are truly trusting, gentle souls. These are the kind of people that the Big Brother Diary Room machine eats up and spits out.*

Because the 'Tard Trio (Kevin, Gnatalie, Lydiot) needed a miracle...they spent several hours after Jordan won the HOH trying to figure out a plan to break up the Fab Four...in stepped the Diary Room. The DR agreed to not only craft a lie but instill doubt and paranoia into the members of the Fab Four: Jeff, Jordan, Michelle and Russell. The DR agreed to help because, as Lydiot told us, the DR thinks the 'Tard Trio are "fun".

Kevin has been chosen to be the one to carry the small-pox laced blankets to the Fab Four in the form of a lie that goes like this:

[LIE] Kevin was in the storage room on Saturday and heard Russell secure a Final Two deal with Michelle. Also, the two were 'overheard' saying that next week they will put Jeff up if either of them gets HOH.[LIE]

There is not much more that we can do now but watch to see if Jeff confronts Russell about this lie and pray that whatever Russell says gets through to Jeff.

Russell caused Jeff to doubt him, originally, by voting to keep Jessie. Russell was OUT THE DOOR until Jeff pulled him off the block and replaced him with Jessie, with the Coup d'etat. Five minutes later Russell repays Jeff by voting to keep Jessie out of some warped sense of loyalty to Jessie. Loyalty might get you to the final 6 or 7, but then you have to play for YOURSELF.
It's possible it was a play for Jury Vote from Jessie if Russell should find himself in the Final 2.

Good luck to the Fab Four and may they play smart, think before they speak, get a clue and realize they have all been manipulated both inside and out of the Diary Room.

*I don't know about you, but I have already watched the Diary Room evict one of my favorite players, Natalie "Chatty Natty" BB9(another truly trusting, gentle soul). The DR manipulated Baller and Ryan to split their votes leaving Sheila (ungrateful bitch who was only HOH b/c Natalie dropped from the glass house on purpose, handing Sheila the HOH 'because it's her birthday') to break the tie and oust her.

My Complaint to CBS/Big Brother Concerning Cast Member Chima Simone

2009-08-14T09:57:00.003-05:00

Below is the letter I sent to CBS/Big Brother's feedback and complaint department this morning. I was moved to these lengths due to what appears to be a continuing favoritism of one house guest over others. I tried to gain understanding and/or get answers to my very specific question concerning Chima's sense of entitlement and her threats to disrupt events if her demands weren't met. This only led to further frustration as her actions were explained away by either stating she was a 'survivor', a 'strong woman', or was 'under undo stress'. Because Chima has not been under ANY STRESS due to gameplay past the first week when she was on the block, I felt the need to reach out to Big Brother 'himself' (lol). I'll keep you updated if I receive any answers.

*****************************************************************************

Chima Simone should be removed from the show or, at least, publicly and financially penalized due to the following:

1. Her racist, prejudiced and discriminatory comments about fellow house guest, Russell, calling him a 'terrorist'; a 'contestant on America's Next Top Terrorist'; and, then loudly proclaiming that she'll SPIN her racist, and prejudiced, comments in such a way as to slide them by the rules. She said she would just imply her 'terrorist' label means Russell 'terrorizes the house'. She was totally unapologetic and lacked remorse for her comments when Julie interviewed her on the episode Thursday night.

2. Her racist and prejudiced comments towards viewers and, in particular, voters in the coup d'etat contest. Chima stated that IF Jeff won the power it was because the people who vote in such contests are women, gay men, 'Southern people who can barely speak the English language...you know, the RED STATES'.

3. Chima judged several of fellow house guest Braden's comments as racist and prejudiced. In her live eviction speech, Chima called Braden out and insisted that these comments be taken into consideration by the other hg's when voting to evict either Braden or herself. Therefore, for Chima to demand any less severe treatment for her own comments and actions is hypocritical and biased.

4. In almost every season there is an HOH reign that is in some way altered or rendered moot altogether. Chima Simone feels entitled to demand, threaten, and browbeat Big Brother production and fellow hg's to ensure her nominations stay the same, resulting in Russell being evicted. Chima had planned and plotted total chaos if anything happened during the live show that wasn't what she desired. Ultimately, whether Chima made good on her demands or not, the television viewers were robbed of the promised LIVE show and payoff of their dedicated voting for the coup d'etat power holder. Many these viewers are those who purchase the already-less-than-advertised '24/7 live feeds' from CBS and Realplayer Superpass. The live feeders are the life's-blood of this particular reality show and we were totally disrespected yesterday. CBS's solution to Chima's threatened tantrum was to pre-tape the eviction, resulting in shutting down the feeds for 7 hours. Also, we were unable to see the direct aftermath of the live eviction and HOH competition: always a highly anticipated live-feeder pleasure and not one we relinquish willingly.

It has been rumored that in this hour Chima, Natalie, and Lydia threatened to quit the show and were paid to stay.

It boggles the mind that this one house guest should be given all this power. To broadcast Chima's telling of her rape story during her terror of an HOH reign (when actually the conversation took place in the first couple weeks of the show) might have been a ploy to get sympathy for her. It didn't work. Regardless of her 'personal tragedy' Chima's negative attitude is like a cancer in the BB house. Do us all a favor and either evict her or censure her both publicly and financially.

Thank you for your time.

Big Brother 11

2009-08-07T14:46:00.002-05:00

I'm so thrilled this morning..but more so, just relieved.

I'm a HUGE Big Brother fan..the reality show not the book character.

Last night one of the most deceitful, hateful, condescending, and dare I say, EVIL people to ever play the game was PUT OUT by the house guests.

Ronnie did nothing but lie the entire time in the house. Ronnie, and even family members of Ronnie's, would like us to believe that he's a truthful, compassionate and gentle person in real life. If that is true, he sure can hide it. I'm not a big online or computer gamer...I play some games on Pogo.com and Yoville, but that's about it. I understand there are these other games that are role-playing, time-consuming, and dangerously addicting games. Ronnie claims to be one of the biggest of those players. But, honestly, Ronnie claims to be a lot of things.

In the house Ronnie was caught saying he was an educator. I'm paraphrasing, but in a character assassination on Casey (Man in a banana suit), Ronnie said "I don't think you need to be a 5th grade teacher, going to bars, cussing, and smoking. As 'educators' both my wife and I are the same at home as we are at work." Well, Ronnie is NOT an educator, he's at most, a student, and possibly a tutor. This is one of the ways that Ronnie went totally, and in my opinion, SLANDEROUS LY, negative. One of the things his wife assured we Twitterers, that her husband would never do.

Ronnie also claimed to be some sort of debate champ, especially persuasive speech title-holder..again, false! I understand, through some other BB blogs and websites, that the actual holder of said title would like to have a few words with Ronnie. I doubt it'll be a debate...lol

Another time Ronnie went completely personal calling Michelle (formerly his Brains Clique mate) crazy, having a pig nose, stupid, and several other just truly condescending and personally negative things. I think Ronnie was mad at Michelle because she didn't vote for her ex-clique mate; but, the cliques had been dissolved a week prior to Ronnie's eviction anyway. In his last plea for votes, Ronnie called Michelle the 'worst person he'd ever met'. Not to speak for Michelle, but I think the feeling is mutual.

Thank you America for voting Jeff the recipient of the Coup d'etat super power. This power allows Jeff to remove one or both of Chima's (newly crowned HOH) nominees this week from the block and replace them with his own...on the live show...2 minutes before the live eviction vote. I fucking love this!!!!

Hopefully Jeff, being a football player, will not only realize and appreciate the defensive aspect of the Coup d'etat, in that if he and his adorable BFF, Jordan, should find themselves on the block, he can remove them. But, also, the offensive nature of the super power, the ability to put up Jessie and Natalie (barring the fact that either of them should win the VETO) and click click BOOM, one of them (hopefully Jessie) is the first person to SEQUESTER!

I appreciate the game of Big Brother and I realize I'm sitting in a seat with a birds-eye view of the action (I have the 24/7 feeds) and none of the risk. There is no money they could pay me to go in a house with 10-12 people and live for 90 days with no outside contact. I'd probably kill someone in their sleep..lol..just kidding! I'd just maim them. But anyway...

Good luck to Jeff and Jordan, my final 2 pick. Russell, please get a clue; Lydia, also get a clue: Jessie is a TOOL; Natalie, please take a bath and admit your a man (lol); Chima, stop laughing at your own jokes; Michelle pick a side; Kevin..lose Lydiot..that girl is too far up Jessie's butt to ever be totally true to you and if you do you might end up in the final 3.

Thanks for reading and I'd love to read your comments on Big Brother 11.

Fibromyalgia Gets Its Own 'Twibbon'

2009-07-18T15:14:00.004-05:00

Twitter is so hot right now! It's an instant social network where you can get and receive information on virtually ANY subject that comes to mind. I have been seriously 'twittering' for only a month or so. I have already met several people who are either involved in an interest of mine or stricken with the disease that has made my life such a pain, literally, fibromyalgia.

Today I found out that fibromyalgia has its own 'Twibbon' -- a ribbon, or other related icon, that can be added to or placed over your Twitter avatar.

Below is the link for the Fibromyalgia Twibbon ~ a purple ribbon with 'Fibromygia' on it. Please let me know if you find other twibbons or anything like this related to fibromyalgia. Anything that we can do to keep fibromygia in the forefront of people's minds and in the news can only help to gain awareness of this devastating illness.

Opryland Memories Spring Forth

2009-07-13T21:04:00.006-05:00

Below is something I wrote today after seeing a picture and mention of Opryland USA, in another blog. The comments there caused me to defend Opryland as not only a COUNTRY MUSIC mecca, but a unique celebration of ALL types of music.

Opryland USA is gone now...torn down more than a decade ago and replaced with Opry Mills Mall. The Grand Ole Opry House along with the Opryland Hotel complex are still there, of course.

Even today, as I drive across the massive mall parking lot I recognize landmarks. Natural landmarks in the form of trees, wooded areas, the river, or the dike (you'll read about the dike below) that once were a part of Opryland USA. For those of us who played and worked at Opryland, these landmarks spring open a map in our memory. Look through our eyes and catch a glimpse of the place we came to love and ghosts of summers past.

===============================================================================

Good old OpryHOLE! (Inside joke.) Opryland was built right beside the Cumberland River on what turned out to be a slight depression in the land. As I recollect, it existed for several years with no problem...until 1975. During the Spring of '75 it rained and rained and rained. Opryland, set to open in the next few weeks, had stocked all the gift shops...the game walls graced with tons of stuffed animals, and most rides were in final inspection. As the rain continued, the Cumberland River started to rise. It rose over its banks and spilled into the Park, filling it up! There are pictures showing how the water rose so high that the only indication of a shop was the sign hanging from the roof, the water just 6 inches or so below them. EVERYTHING was ruined.

The water was eventually pumped out, the stores repainted and restocked. The opening of the Park was delayed a couple of weeks, and a dike was built...thankfully, Opryland never flooded again. As you might imagine though, the 'Opryhole' jokes lived on.

As for the 'all country music all the time' assumption....not exactly. Opryland celebrated all types of music. The Park was divided into areas such as:

The Mod Area. 50's OLDIES played from hidden speakers as guests strolled into, through and out of the Mod Area. The workers were dressed like 50's car hops. The games were built on the same era, as were the rides. The 'Little Deuce Coupe' was a tilt-a-whirl-type ride and the 'Timber Topper', a roller coaster, shot on a rail through the tree tops.

New Orleans Area. Here the music was the BLUES. Guests had the opportunity to sip mint juleps in a Bourbon Street-type restaurant as a Mardi Gras brass band paraded past. There was a GOSPEL show in this area, too. You could eat fried clams and ride a magnificent Carousel that had some historical significance. (I can't remember the story anymore.)

Hilltop Area. BLUEGRASS and COUNTRY music played on the speakers. There live shows with fiddles and steel guitars were featured. 'The Flume Zoom', a log ride, and the 'Screamin' Delta Demon', both had tracks that wound through the woods before their rides came splashing down at the end. Craftspeople like leatherworkers, glassblowers, and woodcarvers worked on their pieces as guests watched or bought their own unique souvenier.

State Fair Area. A mixture of songs played from the speakers as guests threw baseballs at stuffed cats in the 'Gaucho Gallery', played 'Ring The Coke', or 'Skee Ball' (for a quarter a game). The 'Tennessee Waltz', a swing ride was in this area along with a huge rollercoaster with double-loops, called the 'Wabash Cannonball'.

A real steam-engine train circled the park and allowed passengers to view the beautiful landscape around the park and some buffalo grazing in the fields nearby.

From years 1973 to 1976 I had a season pass. My friends and I would go almost every day. Our parents would drop us at the entrance of the park in the morning and pick us back up in the evening. We loved the shows. 'I Hear America Singing' was a Broadway-type musical covering all eras of music. In a replica of a 1900-era Showboat, contemporary songs were performed.

One day they filmed several scenes for Robert Altman's movie "Nashville" in this setting. Included with the regular performers were Ned Beatty, Scott Glenn, Jeff Goldblum, and Geraldine Chaplin along with Yours Truly and Friends right on the front row. I like to joke that Scott Glenn and I 'did our first movie together'. I can also connect myself to Kevin Bacon in six degrees!

It is not unusual to find a star today who got their start at Opryland USA. Cynthia Rhodes who played "Penny" in "Dirty Dancing" and 'Tina Tech" in Flashdance, got her start singing and dancing on the stages of Opryland.

As you can see, Opryland was built on MUSIC, with the Opry House there on the site. However, there were many more things to do, see, enjoy, eat, and remember fondly.

The summers of 1977 and 1978 will forever be 'the good old days'. Those summers I worked in the State Fair and Mod area games. I came to know Opryland like the back of my hand and love it for the unique gift it was to music lovers everywhere.

2009-07-11T09:11:00.000-05:00

2009-07-02T16:31:00.000-05:00

Which Burn Notice Character Are You?

More on Burn Notice. Created by BuddyTV

2009-07-02T15:52:00.001-05:00

Which Big Brother Houseguest Are You?

More on Big Brother. Created by BuddyTV

2009-06-21T13:20:00.010-05:00

What Father's Day Means to Me

As I was sending a couple of Father's Day cards this morning, reality forced it's way into my thoughts (as it always seems to do). I sent two cards: one to my Mother's third husband, my stepfather for the last 20 years, or so, and one to an ex-boyfriend (now, just a friend) of mine.

My mother and I went to Reno last year. We were on a trip planned by one of the casinos, so we could not leave until the chartered flight the next day. We were out of gambling money so we spent that last night in the hotel room just talking. When Mom and I talk it can, and most times does, cover many landmine-type subjects. For some reason, that night, the conversation turned to fathers.

My mother had the traditional-type family, one mother, one father, one brother. She was extremely close to her father. When her father passed away, it was hands-down the most upset I've ever seen her.

My situation, on the other hand, is much different. My mother was married when I was conceived, however, her husband was not my birth father. My Biodad was another man whom she met while she was married and loved very much. Because of her love for my Biodad, her husband gave her the requested divorce. Then good ole' Biodad split and left her unmarried, pregnant, and alone. She tells me she was very scared and ashamed, remember, this was the 50's.

Soon after I was born she met a man while waitressing in the only restaurant in a small town in rural Tennessee. He was willing to marry her, even though she had a 6-month old baby in tow. He turned out to be extremely jealous, volatile, verbally and physically abusive. Also, he and made her burn every letter (or anything else) relating to Biodad.

Their entire 20-year relationship was tumultuous. His anger and abuse only got worse through the years. I do believe he loved her very much and, to his credit, he worked every day (even a 2nd job on weekends some of that time) to take care of us. Mom always worked, too, and I believe I had a relatively normal childhood, to the outside world.

Inside our home, though, there were nearly-daily explosions. "Daddy" would blow up at me, or mom, and often she was forced to protect me from him, literally putting her body between us and taking blows meant for me. You see, I was a living, breathing reminder of the 'man my mother really loved' in Daddy's mind. Funny thing is, I didn't know Biodad existed.

Until the second grade I carried the last name of Mom's first husband. I was TOLD, and most people assumed, that although my mother got divorced during her pregnancy, I was fathered by her ex-husband. During the second grade, 'Daddy' legally adopted me and I took his last name. I remember sitting on the ground by our mailbox, reading the spelling of Daddy's last name emblazoned there, then writing it over and over on a notebook of paper.

FOR THOSE OF YOU KEEPING SCORE...THAT'S THREE 'FATHERS' AND TWO LAST NAMES BY THE AGE OF 8.

Right around the time I graduated high school, they finally ended the misery and got divorced. Mom was thrilled to have her 'freedom at last' but Daddy was not happy about the divorce. He continued to try to hold onto Mom while Daddy's mother refused to talk to Mom and was barely civil to me. This was MY Granny since I was a baby and it was extremely confusing. However, my Pappy loved me always. He passed away soon thereafter.

My Granny was a hateful old woman and she stayed hateful to the day she died in 2003...even cutting me out of her will completely. (I am adopted into the family: the ONLY child of their ONLY child, my Daddy, was already deceased by the time Granny died.) Granny signed every penny of my inheritance to a fallen minister and his greedy wife. They had taken Granny from the retirement home without telling me. They convinced her that in order for them to take her into their home she had to change her will from ME to THEM. She died at their home within a few months of moving in with them and signing the money over to them. They even tried to have her funeral and bury her without letting me know she had died. *sneaky sneaky* God will get them, I have NO doubt.

**When you are adopted you can't be disowned.**

After the divorce, Daddy and I had a sometimes-good, sometimes-awful relationship. In 1998, when he died, I was meeting with the lawyer in charge of his estate. His widow made a point of pulling out a piece of paper that she found in Daddy's wallet. It had my name, and the name of my children, with "$1" written beside each of our names. She was admonished by the lawyer for being cruel and told to put that paper away! She accomplished what she wanted, which was to show me up in front of people. In the end, I did receive a small amount of money from the sale of the house that I'd grown up in. Also, his widow returned a silver collection that was MINE anyway (Daddy and I had together collected Kennedy half-dollars, silver dimes and wheathead pennies for years). She handed it over, during the gathering after his funeral, as if she was being SO generous....ugh!

Back to the story: Around the time of Mom and Daddy's divorce, I became extremely curious about my Biodad (whom I still believed was Mom's first husband). So one day Mom sat me down and told me this twisted tale of how she was married, then fell in love with someone else, then got pregnant, then divorced, then abandoned, then remarried. NOW I wonder why I never asked about this ex-husband/dad..WHY he didn't he pay child support...why there was no visitation, etc. I guess it was because my home life was so tumultuous that it never came to mind that there could be even more upset, confusion, and pain surrounded my male parentage.

After Mom spilled all the beans, I was introduced to Biodad (a local DJ) first over the phone, then there were some shout-outs to me on the radio. There was one face-to-face lunch: Biodad, Mom and me, at Dennys (I don't remember his face, but I remember he gave me a $20 bill). He said he was so proud of me and so glad to finally have met me. He promised to introduce me to his side of the family (the Trumphour's) which never came to fruition. Then nothing, no calls, no invitations, no letters, no nothing...until I heard he died (early 1980s'). A while later Mom told me that she had gone to his funeral and that it was alot like the situation described in George Jones' biggest hit "He Stopped Loving Her Today"...ehh whatever.

Sometime in the 80's I met Mom's first husband at a funeral of someone unrelated. There were no words, no sparks, no interest, nothing. Eventhough for years I had believed him to be my REAL dad, by the time I met him I had known the truth for quite a while.

My mother met her now-husband sometime in the year after divorcing 'Daddy'. They were together for several years and finally married about 25 years ago, or so.

"Daddy's" last name is my maiden name to this day. The only male-parental-unit alive is my Mom's present husband. He has been "Dad", at this point, as long as "Daddy" was.

He is extremely good to my mother and good to me and my children, as well. His ex-wife is an absolute bitch though. (Violent and crazy...I won't go into her antics now, maybe another blog.) He has two grown children, several years younger than me. He has grandchildren from both of his kids and even a great-granchild. He is close to me and my kids and I am happy, and grateful, that my mother has him.

...AND THAT BRINGS THE COUNT TO FOUR

As you can see, 'Fathers Day' sure can encompass more than the traditional meaning. What does it mean to you?

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY

HUGS, DANCE

Send me a Tweet on my Twitter account: LetsJustDance_1

I look forward to hearing from you!

2009-06-09T21:45:00.003-05:00

I finally found my blog again! I have tried several times to find it, to sync it with the Google thing, to no avail, but someone must have sprinkled fairy dust on me tonight and allowed it to all come together. I only hope I can find it again tomorrow. Rather than post about some subject "Spidey" or my pain "continuous", I'll just tell you about my day.

I woke up late to the phone ringing. My health has gotten to the point where I'm going to have to hire a maid service to clean the townhome where I live with my adult son.

The person they sent out to give our place the once-over was a diminuitive little thing named Jeannie, just like in 'I Dream of..." fame. As expected, it's about $100 or so the first visit then $80 every other week. Tears came to my eyes as she told of cleaning things that I used to be able to do myself: dust the windowsills and get out the cobwebs...wash the kitchen floor 'on our knees'...etc.

Then my youngest son got on his XBox Live where he's been ever since. Only bathroom breaks and runs to the kitchen for chips and such have kept him away from the games and friends of his in the XBox world he plays in now, rather than our front yard or the swimming pool.

Arguments abound..oldest son doesn't want to buy McDonalds for younger one...Mom thinks I'm gonna say something to son's coworkers to cause him to lose his job...young son doesn't want to get off the Xbox after 10 hours...my bones want out of my body, the hard way...and the beat goes on...

2002-10-18T19:40:00.000-05:00

I have been very fortunate to find a D.O. doctor here in Nashville. He is such a nice man and seems to genuinely care about my pain and also about my living situation.

I'm going to begin to share some of my life in this blogger if only to get it off my chest. This will not be for the faint-hearted. My life is anyting but calm and sedate.

2002-04-14T11:44:00.000-05:00

See which Greek Goddess you are.

2002-04-03T19:55:00.000-06:00

At the risk of going out on a limb I'm going to tell you a very enlightening, very true, story.

I went to a doctor in our small community...he was a government-provided physician of his type for indigent people or those with no insurance..I fell into the latter category. Now, keep in mind, for the entire population of our county, those people that have no insurance or could not pay for their care went to this guy. Well, I thought I needed one type of medicine and he was disagreeing. I was explaining to him why I felt that way, that I was not better, that I needed more, better, help. He said, and unfortunately I quote "Well, we are not going for perfection here...and I'm ok with that." Hand to God! I said, "well, as long as YOU are ok with it, because that's what's really important right?" He says "Well, I AM the doctor." (imagine big puffed up chest here)..I said, "well, I AM the patient." You can see, we got nowhere.

That's just a little glimpse of what it's like out here in the medical wasteland.

Dance

2002-04-03T19:50:00.000-06:00

I typed an entire entry...wonder where it went?

Anyway...long story short (chyeah right)...I went to the doc today, he was not in...I hope to see him tomorrow...fibro pain at an all time high of 12+++. Knees hurt, right elbow and wrist extremely painful. I'm having gastric difficulties (if you know what I mean) and I have a nasty cough. Temp has run in the 100-101 range all day. You'd think they could have looked at me and known I needed to see the doctor but you just canNOT get good medical help anymore...at least not consistently...it's very sad...the medical people are in a unique position, as the ONLY people who can provide their kind of necessary service. There are no alternatives. If you are the only one providing a service, the government says it's that way, they you do NOT get to choose, you don't get to limit, it doesn't matter what YOUR opinion is on what a person needs, you just SERVE for Godsakes! What the heck happened to the hippocratic (I have no idea if I spelled that correctly) oath?

Sorry...off my soapbox for this hour..but hey, it's only 10 minutes to 8:00 pm...so stick around for another rant! rofl

Dancey

2002-04-03T07:27:00.000-06:00

What Snack Food are YOU? Click here to find out!

Spongy, yellow, and an utter mystery, you're the X-file of snack foods! More people ponder you than consume you, but you don't mind--you get to remain uneaten and...er...free to do Twinkish things! *grin*

I'm sick today...I had 101 degree fever yesterday, along with the normal aches and pains which were amped up to an 11 or so on a scale from 1-10.
I have sent a resume to the temp agency and they think they have a lead on a job for me. The interview is Friday, IF the people like my resume.

More later ... Dance

2002-03-30T22:21:00.000-06:00

Today has been a day of confusion. The "fibro fog" has been so bad that I have just spun my wheels all day until about 6:30 tonight. I had all day to work on my website and I was so glad to have the time but I couldn't seem to put two thoughts together. Finally, about 6:30 something clicked and I started to make notes. I'm now surrounded by stickies but I feel I have some things accomplished.

Pain level is about 6 or 7, depending upon the time of the day. I've been trying to do Pilates...torture...but I need those strong stomach muscles to help support my weak and stiff back.

'Turnups' showed up about the time I laid down to take a nap, so..no nap for old Dance...more about 'turnups' later..but basically, they are relatives of my husband who tend to 'turn up' everywhere and anywhere and anytime without warning or provocation and no telling for how long...lol...we'll talk later ;)

Dance

2002-03-25T17:02:00.000-06:00

You are entering my life on the 15,695th day of my life, or age 43 and 14 days. I was born on March 11, 1959 and that's all about that that we need to share right now.

It's cold and rainy here and my pain is about an 8...all day long.

Pain meds barely keeping it in check.

My mother and husband have decided that I'm 'fat' so today I will begin to eat right (rofl) and exercise (actually do-able)...my weight is approximately 190 lbs...I will keep you abreast (no pun intended) of my weight loss.